you might be a redneck if directions to your house include "turn off the paved road"
you might be a redneck if you wet the bed and four other people immediately know it.
you actually know what kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper.
you might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has a opening on the lube rack.
you might be a redneck if the neighbors have ever asked to borrow the light bulb.
you might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
you might be a redneck if your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
you might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap.
you might be a redneck if you hold a frog and it worries about getting warts.
you might be a redneck you have to take the entire day off to get your teeth cleaned.
you might be a redneck you've ever lost your wife in a poker game.
you might be a redneck you offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they don't want it.