New Sales Letters

John B

New member
I am working on getting all of the Backyard Burgers in Mississippi. I just got thru typing up this sales letter and just wondered if there is abetter letter or if I have abought said it all in this one ...
 

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ummmmm

:confused: I guess that's fine John........I'm not sure it flowed well thu... :D Not saying i could done better..just look at my post you'll see ... just my .02 cents
 
On second I'll keep my mouth shut......................shit i barely can clean hoods right................. :eek: :D Or so it seems to me ...early in the morning so very tired :(
 
Why sell yourself short with the 10% less statement? Usually the cheaper the price the poorer the service in this industry. Advertise superior service instead of bargain pricing, if you do as great of work as you say then you should be able to get 10% more than the cheaper guy. That's my philosophy anyway, I hate working for cheap.
 
Your right Josh ... Got to do more work on the sales letter ..The thing about the Backyard Burgers is I know who is cleaning them and I know what he charges. He gets about $325.00 per store .. So i could still make pretty good at 280.00 or so , but You are right I will take out the 10 % thing..
 
John B,

I edited your letter. What I would also suggest is that you get a name to write to rather than addressing to "Dear Sirs." See how this works for you:



Many restaurant owners today are not satisfied with the fire equipment, concrete cleaning and vent hood cleaning services they currently use. We want to change that! In an effort to provide better and more affordable services to Backyard Burgers, B&R Fire Protection/ Vent-A-Hood Cleaning (A division of Bevalaque Maintenance Company since 1989) is proud to offer you outstanding high pressure steam cleaning and fire protection equipment services.

B&R Fire Protection promises the most reliable and affordable service in the area. Our fire equipment service rates are 10% less than the competition and with each inspection performed by B&R you receive a full system report and a certificate of inspection.

Vent hood cleanings are documented with photos in addition to the certificate of completion which is placed on the vent hood showing areas cleaned, the date of the cleaning and the next due date. So B&R not only tells you it’s clean we actually show you it’s clean.

Our concrete cleaning service is performed after business hours and B&R will remove most oil stains, bubble gum, and dirt from your drive thru as well as your sidewalks.

Do you want better and more reliable service? Call and visit B&R Fire Protection on the web at:
www.firepros.4t.com www.pressurewash.8m.com
601-352-3809 601-573-5509
E-Mail us at brfirepros@bellsouth.net



Looking forward to serving you,
John Bevalaque
CEO
 
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Sounds Great ... I got the owners name today . I will address it to him.. Also I am going to try nd set up a meeting with him..I don't really need these accounts but I was dared by one of my competitor's .. Actually an old student of mine back in 1999.
I trained him and he left the company now he is out on his own.. He does a good job , but just doesn't have the insurance or equipment and plus he dared me. LOL
 
Brevity is an evidence of professionalism. If it were me I would try to make it shorter and to the point.
 
Ok I got a new camera yesterday.. I ll get the spec later it is 3.1 mega pixel....

Now as far as adding photos I got a Brochure... It's being printed off at kinko's 1000
copies .
It has photos of hood cleanings, concrete cleanings, and the ever famous grease catching system..
I called the patent office last week to get the grease catcher patent..
I am also working on a new restaurant grease system that will actually catch the grease an remove it to a containment unit off of the roof. It will go in a contanment filtered unit on the ground level and will require monthly maintenance..

I have also spilled coffee on my keyboard and the damn letter __ is stuck down ...
Maybe I need a coffee removing system as well.

Thanks for the Help guys......
 
Image resolution up to 2048 x 1536 pixels (interpolated/fine)
Multi-functional (digital camcorder, digital still camera, video camera, PC camera, USB portable disk, SD™/MMC card reader)
32MB internal flash memory with audio/video out to TV
1.5" Color TFT LCD
SD™ & MMC memory card supported
Includes camera bag, strap, two AA batteries, USB cable, AV cable, and software CD


NEW CAMERA
 

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Get to try it tommorrow ... Got to go and clean Schimmels at 9:30 am in the morn.. I'll post so we can see if the photos are better...
 
Still wating on the photos Mr. Hood. :)

Did you have a chance to take any on the job you mentioned above.
 
Photos with new cam

Check out the bottom photo of the restaurant behind Schimmel's /....

I tried to get this woodland's account 2 months ago .. And they said Someone was cleaning it for $100.00..... LOL

Look at it Now.....
 

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I think I already seen those pictures on one of your post. Looks good nice job on the fans.
 
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