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Christopher said:
What about BMP's?

You have to vote people into a committee to vote for a group of incompetent people to think up some BMP's to shop to cities, gov't's and other kinds of municipalities. Even though they will be shopped to everyone that will listen whether they like it or not (you might have to tie them down or duct tape them to make sure that they are an attentive audience) you will have to tell everyone that the BMP's will not be shopped, even if they are there with you in person as you are shopping the BMP's in person (they can probably help you tie or tape up the people that don't want to listen) you will just have to learn to lie like crazy, you will get good at it in time as we have learned from those in office in org's, the politicians and other people on tv and internet.

The BMP's will have to be:
1. Ridiculous and have to buy reclaim equipment that is not only obsolete, things that only you or your favorite vendor makes or can make, use hard to find parts so that they have to come to you to get it fixed weekly or monthly or sooner.
2. The methods will have to make a minimum of 10-15 hoops to jump through in order to almost do things right. The city will change things around and you and the city will point fingers at each other and blame each other when contractors get fines, try not to laugh at the contractors when they confront you and want their money back, you just have to tell them that the guarantee is an on site guarantee meaning that if the work is done on your property then it is guaranteed, when it leaves your shop then the guarantee is put into the bmp's where it will be convoluted with all kinds of jargon and 5-dollar words where most will agree that it is not only hard to read, hard to understand but does not make any sense at all. At that point you have made a good guarantee.
3. The BMP's have to make you work 2 times harder than normal to do the most simple job.
4. The BMP's need to take up at least 1 ream of paper, if not start over and keep on wording it until you are successful.
5. The BMP's need to use lots of big words that people will not find easily in their dictionary if they have one, if possible make some of the words/sentences in another language so that you are helping others that might not speak english.

There will be more added to this as this is an evolving BMP, meaning that we are trying to make it up as fast as we can but we can only do so much at a time without making it too easy for the contractor to make money.
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John T, I have turned this post over to the Pwna for investigation. Chris' posts have been getting longer and longer and I now firmly believe that you are signing in under his login and making long, datailed posts.

Everyone knows Chris' post normally consist entirely of "haha that's funny" or "that's a good one Tony".

John, you are busted

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Doug Rucker said:
Say I invest $100,000.00 in a reclaim unit and have EPA officials on my speed dial. Can I discount on that $89.95 since I would be considered a leader in the industry?
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Doug, once the bmps are in place I will do my best to help you get you more dollars off that reclaim system when you are bought out by one of the large pwna members. Maybe we can get you $550 for it insfead of $500

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Squirtgun said:
Tony is not only an expert on apartment cleaning he is also a the 2008 Dry Lake Bed Tounamant Fishing Champion.If you are lucky he will talk on and on about his sponsors and how they can help you(and him) by doing business with them.
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I am selling fully logo'd pants on my website. They have no rear because if you follow my instructions you will have already lost your azz anyway.

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Tony Shelton said:
I am selling fully logo'd pants on my website. They have no rear because if you follow my instructions you will have already lost your azz anyway.

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I would like to purchase a pair or 2 of those please. I figure I can just wear them backwards. This will make it easier for me to start scr@#wing folks.
 
William, you cant be a part of this discussion. You don't have any experience in this type of cleaning an Hilborn says you only have two part timers and one truck. His silent partners will back him up on that statement unless he takes all the blame.

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Guy Blackmon said:
Tony, when will the DVD's come out?
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Guy, I don't appreciate the accusatory tone you are taking. Don't piss in my boot and tell me its a shoe. I'm a professonal contractor/vendor/lobbyist/private investgator and this ole country boy knows the difference between a boot and a shoe!

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Please post your traveling schedule so we may send out invites to the meet and greet when you are in town.
 
If it is OK with you Tony I would like to offer something for the first 47 person who sign up. I recently washed a tombstone without permission from the owner and found an old reciept for a bottle of booze that had the thumbprint of an old ballplayer on it. The players third cousin's sister in law will present copies of it to the first 47 people. Please remember after holding it that you must wash your hands. Do not allow the water to go down the sink drain however. It is best for all of our future children if you use a reclaim system to remove the water. I must go now as I have a tree to hug and proclaim that global warming is a real and present threat.
 
I know what you are thinking....Its too early to talk CONVENTION!

But if we've learned anything from the past it Never too early for a convention!

Because I am a student of history I dont plan on making the same mistakes others have made.

I already have the hookers lined up and our speaker is Charlie Sheen (WINNING!). He knows in advance he wont be paid! But I promised him a wristband so he could join in the festivities in the champaig.....er, I mean the executive BOD lounge.

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mike barrett said:
This thread is worth $89 the membership is free! If I call now can I get two memberships + S/H ?
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Mike if you sign up now you will get your pick of any jack in the box restaurant cleanings in your area! $150 a pop and that includes 14k square feet of parking area!

You cant buy experience like that for any amount of money. We're all about the bennies!

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Tony Shelton said:
For the record I was not there, I advised Chris not to take the job, I was on vacation, and my dog ate the bid sheet.
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He's not lying here's that damm dog again.


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Best effing thread I have read all year.
Worth coming back to make a post for.
Tony, please forgive as I pass gas while I am bowing to you for starting this thread.
lmFaorotff

This is definately the "Spinal Tap" thread of our industry right now.
Turn it up to "11" Tony.

Thanks for the effing entertainment Tony.
 
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