Dirty Lil Johnny

[Russ Spence]

Dancing

Little Johnny is bored all day, hanging around the house. He goes into his
parents room and finds them having sex. "What are you doing?" Johnny asks.

"Uh, well, we're dancing." replies his mother.

"What's daddy doing?", asks Little Johnny

"He's my partner", says Mom, "Now run along."

A few nights later, Johnny goes into his sisters room and catches her having
sex with her boyfriend. "What are you doing?", he assks.

"Ummm, dancing.", says his sister.

"What's your boyfriend doing?", asks Johnny.

His sister says, "He's my partner, now get out of here!"

Thanksgiving came around and Johnny's relatives were at his house. Johnny went
into the bathroom and saw his grandfather beating his meat.

"What are you doing?" Johnny asks.

"Why I'm dancing." said his grandfather.

"Well", asks Johnny, "Where is your partner?"

His grandfather replies, "When you've danced as long as I have, you don't need
a partner."

 

[Russ Spence]

Surprising The Cows

Little Johnny goes to spend a weekend with his uncle, a wealthy farm owner.
One evening, as Uncle Ralph and his wife are entertaining guests with cocktails,
they are interrupted by an out-of-breath Johnny who shouts out, "Uncle Ralph! Come
Quick! The bull is ****ing the cow!"

Uncle Ralph, highly embarrassed, takes young Johnny aside, and explains that a certain
amount of decorum is required. "You should have said, 'The bull is surprising the cow',
not that filth you picked up on the playground,".

A few days later, Johnny comes in again as his aunt and uncle are entertaining. "Uncle
Ralph! The bull is surprising the cows!"

The adults share a knowing grin. Uncle Ralph responds by saying, "Thank you Johnny, but
surely you meant to say the cow, not cows. A bull cannot 'surprise' more than one cow
at a time, you know..."

"Oh yes, he can!" replies Johnny, "He's ****ing the horse!"

 

[Russ Spence]

Problem With Teacher

A young woman, (a new teacher) was giving an assignment to her
Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started
writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle
from one of the male students. She quickly turned and asked,
"What's so funny Pat?"

"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you
for three days."

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had
forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of
the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another
male student. She quickly turns and asks,"What's so funny Billy?"

"Well teacher, I just saw both of your garters."

Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment
is more severe, "I don't want to see you for three weeks."

Embarassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around
again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an all out
laugh from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny
leaving the classroom.

"Where do you think you are going?" she asks.

"Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over."