Tony Shelton
BS Detector, Esquire
Dear Mr. Local Distributor,
I'm writing to you to address some concerns and suggestions that, if implemented may entice me to bring my business your way again.
Mr. Distributor, It would be so convenient if I could drive down to your shop and buy parts and accessories that I need on a regular basis. But when I drive all the way to your shop for a handful of tips and a couple of unloaders I'm told you don't have any tips larger than 5.5 and you only have one unloader in the whole shop. But you'd be glad to offer me the service of ordering them from the internet, having me wait 10 days then drive all the way across town again to pick them up. (But this is only after you've had them sit on your shelf for 5 or 6 days because you "forgot" to call me and let me know they were in.)
Thanks for that. Your hard work has saved me from the 15 seconds it takes to order it online myself for half the price and have it arrive at my doorstep in two days.
I just want to be able to go get what I need when I need it. Is that so difficult?
And thank you also for explaining that my 7 year Landa pump warranty covers the pump if it explodes from the inside and destroys the case. (But if the head is damaged, I'm out of luck because nothing other than an actual explosion of the case is covered.
Thank you for keeping my pump for 2 weeks and giving it a place to live without charging me a storage fee. I know you were just trying to make it feel at home by putting it there with the other dust covered pumps for days. Things like pump repair take time and apparently there is a "cooling off" period of a few days before work can commence. Each repair takes at least a few days of smoking cigarettes, 3 hr lunches and a sick day or two before work can commence. It must be a state law.
And thank you for giving me a chance to support our local economy. I'm glad to see all your 2012 trucks you are so proud of. Charging 100% markup for everything must be profitable. Did the Chevy dealership charge you $50k for that work truck? Maybe you should explain the theory of "double your money or nothing" pricing to the car dealership.
And thank you for all the time and effort you spend making sure that my pricing is correct. You are so accurate in your pricing that you can't quote me a $9.85 tip without looking it up on your computer to make sure I am paying my fair share. It must be difficult to keep up with all those levels of pricing because God knows the value of a tip varies greatly depending on who's buying it.
And thank you too for that $60 filter. I know I could buy the same exact filter at Home Depot for $11.00, but home depot is so impersonal.
In conclusion, Thank you for being there for me. I will see you again next year and if you are still in business I'll try to buy something again just to see if anything has changed.
Thank you.
I'm writing to you to address some concerns and suggestions that, if implemented may entice me to bring my business your way again.
Mr. Distributor, It would be so convenient if I could drive down to your shop and buy parts and accessories that I need on a regular basis. But when I drive all the way to your shop for a handful of tips and a couple of unloaders I'm told you don't have any tips larger than 5.5 and you only have one unloader in the whole shop. But you'd be glad to offer me the service of ordering them from the internet, having me wait 10 days then drive all the way across town again to pick them up. (But this is only after you've had them sit on your shelf for 5 or 6 days because you "forgot" to call me and let me know they were in.)
Thanks for that. Your hard work has saved me from the 15 seconds it takes to order it online myself for half the price and have it arrive at my doorstep in two days.
I just want to be able to go get what I need when I need it. Is that so difficult?
And thank you also for explaining that my 7 year Landa pump warranty covers the pump if it explodes from the inside and destroys the case. (But if the head is damaged, I'm out of luck because nothing other than an actual explosion of the case is covered.
Thank you for keeping my pump for 2 weeks and giving it a place to live without charging me a storage fee. I know you were just trying to make it feel at home by putting it there with the other dust covered pumps for days. Things like pump repair take time and apparently there is a "cooling off" period of a few days before work can commence. Each repair takes at least a few days of smoking cigarettes, 3 hr lunches and a sick day or two before work can commence. It must be a state law.
And thank you for giving me a chance to support our local economy. I'm glad to see all your 2012 trucks you are so proud of. Charging 100% markup for everything must be profitable. Did the Chevy dealership charge you $50k for that work truck? Maybe you should explain the theory of "double your money or nothing" pricing to the car dealership.
And thank you for all the time and effort you spend making sure that my pricing is correct. You are so accurate in your pricing that you can't quote me a $9.85 tip without looking it up on your computer to make sure I am paying my fair share. It must be difficult to keep up with all those levels of pricing because God knows the value of a tip varies greatly depending on who's buying it.
And thank you too for that $60 filter. I know I could buy the same exact filter at Home Depot for $11.00, but home depot is so impersonal.
In conclusion, Thank you for being there for me. I will see you again next year and if you are still in business I'll try to buy something again just to see if anything has changed.
Thank you.