Why do we have such strong desires for our opinion to be heard?

Dave Olson

Dave Olson

Workin North of 60
This topic was on another BBS that I visit often. I have cut and pasted it here.

I am also posting my response.


What is inside us as people that gives us such a strong desire for our opinions to heard and known? I'm not talking about free speech here. Listen or watch a talk show. Often people talk against each other at the same time and yell. We have editorials in our newspapers. Discussion boards like this one sometimes get heated. What is it about our opinion that makes some people really get on fire? Opinions matter, but not as much as facts as one person I know told me.

What about you? What are your opinions on this and why do you feel strongly about yours?



Opinions. I have found, as I get older my ego doesn’t get in the way as much.

I have recently become estranged from my youngest son. He is 32. He recently started a business somewhat like mine and really didn’t/doesn’t want my Opinion of what/how to get it going!
When you see someone about to walk into a wall you will call out and warn him or her. When that person is really close to you, you tend to call louder! Even when your opinion is based on fact and experience, many times it doesn’t make any difference.

Sometimes we need to run into the wall for ourselves old and young alike!

With respect to my son, and me I wish I had never expressed my opinion!

Dave Olson
 
This is not really a response - Just My Opinions:

Opinions are what make us and make us different from each other. Without opinions we have no personalities, we are nobodies. How we share our opinions (the give and take portion of it) makes the difference. We must be able to understand that each of us, when we believe in something, we will fight for it.
In fighting for our beliefs sometimes we become isolated and get tunnel vision (It happens to all of us!).
When opininons are shared, it should be understood that they can be right or wrong, but they are what they are - opinions.
The ability to learn, to forgive (not necessarily forget) are things that make us better in dealing with opinions. It's the best way for us to learn about each other.

I would not have believed who became my best friend. The way it started out, you would have thought we were going to kill each other. But we kept coming back, sharing our thoughts and after spending a lot of time disagreeing we came to see each others qualities. This is how we actually learned about each other and learned from each other.

In the work environment, I have managed anywhere from 1 person (myself) to over several hundred (not all directly). What I discovered early on was when 2 or more people get together, each has to establish their elbow room (mark their territory). This is a healthy process and a process that is necessary for group growth. There are techniques that are employed in management which accomplish this same thing (it's called team building).

For team building to be successful it has to be managed and guided. You need to have some guidelines and all must participate for it to be effective.

As a manager (also business owner / consultant / friend / hubby / parent / child) I also learned that most people learn when they are aloud to make mistake. I allow people to make mistakes.
In business I tell the customer that I owe it to them to let them know when they are heading in the wrong direction. I will let them know at least one time. After that it's their quarter so to speak. After that I'll do it their way as long as it's not illegal, unsafe or immoral. I can always do it twice, as long as they pay me for it.

In allowing mistakes to be made I never let anyone go over the waterfall when I'm aware of it. In otherwords when it comes to allowing mistakes to be made: hundred dollar mistakes are OK - million dollar mistakes are NOT. Getting a hurt ego is OK - losing a finger is NOT. Again, I will step in when the learning process is not productive.

These are "MY OPINIONS"!
 
we all think our experience has been a valuable education

Amen guys, Amen..

Some of my strongest supporters came from what frequently looked
like a "heated argument" at the service-counter,
because of the determination in educating my way out of a misunderstanding.
People that can sit down in front of eachother,
no matter how bad the "difficult day",
and come up with a fully two-sided understanding of what happened,
how it happened, and what to do about it,
in a context of "reasonable outcome"..
As long as you both realize you have two eyes, two ears,
and only one mouth.
Sometimes we realize we're trying to say the same thing a different way,
sometimes "altering someones perspective" changes what they are willing to believe.. Dramatically.

A listener can work WITH anyone that can "see",

and the man that can clearly "see"..
can sometimes shape the leading edge, of what can come next.

A "nuckle-head" always has something to fuss and fight about, in his mind... Road-Rage is rediculous, and predictable. Eh?

I was raised by two argumentative A$$'ls,
and my big brother was a nuckle-head. My reaction..
I listen with both ears, and keep BOTH eyes open,
..even in the heat of disagreement,
and by sticking with technical answers, I earn trust.
..and argumentative nuckle-heads tend to walk away.
as NObody likes looking stupid.

By the way..
I meticulously remind my 14 year-old daughter that
we ALL "loose our minds" .. between the age 13 an 23..
The only question, is how badly, and for how long.
So far, it seems that sticking with technical answers,
and keeping the radar on "full alert", I think she has become quite level-headed.
I'll report back on that after she's made it to her 17th birthday
..without crashing, or burning anything. Eh?
..and my favorite saying..
Life is a test .. of endurance, and "composure".

Back to the blogging..
I am frequently accused of trying to "sell things" in these blogs..
I'm just passionate about being a technical guy,
with 40+ years of troublshooting experience,
and a dermination to make this a better industry, by example.

So here's my opinion..
We all inherently think we "know something,"
we all think our experience has given us a valuable education,
it makes us feel-good, in one way, or another, to explain it.
and we typically drink just a little too much caffeine. :groucho:
 
Sirocco Jerry said:
Amen guys, Amen..

Some of my strongest supporters came from what frequently looked
like a "heated argument" at the service-counter,
because of the determination in educating my way out of a misunderstanding.
People that can sit down in front of eachother,
no matter how bad the "difficult day",
and come up with a fully two-sided understanding of what happened,
how it happened, and what to do about it,
in a context of "reasonable outcome"..
As long as you both realize you have two eyes, two ears,
and only one mouth.
Sometimes we realize we're trying to say the same thing a different way,
sometimes "altering someones perspective" changes what they are willing to believe.. Dramatically.

A listener can work WITH anyone that can "see",

and the man that can clearly "see"..
can sometimes shape the leading edge, of what can come next.

A "nuckle-head" always has something to fuss and fight about, in his mind... Road-Rage is rediculous, and predictable. Eh?

I was raised by two argumentative A$$'ls,
and my big brother was a nuckle-head. My reaction..
I listen with both ears, and keep BOTH eyes open,
..even in the heat of disagreement,
and by sticking with technical answers, I earn trust.
..and argumentative nuckle-heads tend to walk away.
as NObody likes looking stupid.

By the way..
I meticulously remind my 14 year-old daughter that
we ALL "loose our minds" .. between the age 13 an 23..
The only question, is how badly, and for how long.
So far, it seems that sticking with technical answers,
and keeping the radar on "full alert", I think she has become quite level-headed.
I'll report back on that after she's made it to her 17th birthday
..without crashing, or burning anything. Eh?
..and my favorite saying..
Life is a test .. of endurance, and "composure".

Back to the blogging..
I am frequently accused of trying to "sell things" in these blogs..
I'm just passionate about being a technical guy,
with 40+ years of troublshooting experience,
and a dermination to make this a better industry, by example.

So here's my opinion..
We all inherently think we "know something,"
we all think our experience has given us a valuable education,
it makes us feel-good, in one way, or another, to explain it.
and we typically drink just a little too much caffeine. :groucho:
Click to expand...

Now that was an interesting answer. Jerry I like you opinions cause they make sense to me. Sell Sell Sell because you believe in what you sell and so do many others. Since your so passionate about being a tek guy then do what you do best. So many people have empty lives because they have no real passions. Your lucky for sure.
 
Update to this thread, 1-17-12 (Thanks, Ron, for letting me know about this thread!)

Hi All, Peggy Olson here (Dave's wife of 49.5 years).

Dave would probably have posted this himself, but sadly, too late now.

This is a great thread, and soooo true for so many of us! If you go back to the very first posting Dave made and re-read it, I can happily say that fences were mended a LONG time ago, and Dave took great pride in our son's (and his wife's) hard work and successes.

Dave would be especially proud of how our son, Mike, and his wife, have helped me through this very difficult time. The business is being closed down, and there are seemingly billions of things that must be done. Dave got the process started, but wasn't able to finish. Mike has stepped in to help. You can see Dave's influence and continuous education has rubbed off on Mike, plus the years of experience running his own business - a car wash with the added feature of custom cleaning and detailing of just about anything on wheels!

Well, didn't mean to be so chatty (Dave didn't have a corner on THAT market! LOL)

Thanks so much for all your friendships with Dave, and I wish all of you great success in business AND life!

God bless you all!

Peggy Olson
 
Good to see you posting Peggy. Stop in and let us know how things are from time to time. Dave had a bunch of guys who respected him.

I said in a post earlier I believe he's watching.


Ron Musgraves text me for questions 480-522-5227 Pressure Washing Institute
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top