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Tony Shelton

Tony Shelton

BS Detector, Esquire
Apartment Washing 101 is going to be offered at the next event!

Price to be determined, but I think it's going to be under $899 (Tom Durbin, lookout, I'm on your coat tails!)


Well, it's finally happened. I've moved from newbie to Expert in the area of Apartment washing. This week Chris had to do a complex and to keep costs down he asked me to help (due to a severe underbid by the company he subbed for (yes I know this is a mistake, but it will be covered in my new CERTIFICATION class).

The good news is that after the apartments are complete I will have all the credentials needed to certify you guys in APARTMENT CLEANING!

Some topics covered in this class are:

1) Why it's important to know if you have a water source before you get to the job
2) Sorry Ma'am, I didn't realize your window was open.
3) Lock your truck doors.

AND MUCH MORE!

Where else could you get this valuable information??????? Save yourself the learning curve and LEARN FROM AN EXPERT!

BUT THERE's MORE!!

You will get a certification plaque that you can hang in your office and point to when your family members come by and let them know that YOU TOO are an EXPERT! You can become a certified expert in one short hour rather than learning from experience in eight hours as I have.

SAVE YOURSELF THE PAIN AND SUFFERING!

Remember this word - SLUMWASH

I haven't figured out what it will stand for yet, but here's a little teaser -

If you pre-sign up you can be first in line and receive a half price (reduced to $599) membership to my new non-prophet org. Yes, I said non-prophet. There will be no old Testament prophets in our org. Nor will there be any from that other book (Scott.....wink)

Why non-prophet?

Because it SOUNDS REALLY GOOD to say. AND a "non-profit" is just too darn hard to set up and difficult to get lunch money, booze and plane tickets out of without other guys throwing a fit!

It's a win-win situation for everyone involved!

In this org we will work together to secretly go to each and every town and one our our members will slip and fall at a government housing facility. Our slip and fall committee chairman will be around the corner with one of YOUR business cards and will convince them to make numerous laws that FORCE them to give YOU money for cleaning whether it's necessary or not!

This will be a contractor for vendor for lawyer for government org!

Never before has an org been so ORGANIZED!

So don't delay, pre-sign up NOW! I need the money. If I get 300 guys signed up we can have this thing up and rolling by 2015! This will help me get out of this lousy business and sit behind a desk and sell internet SEO stuff to guys who actually have work to do and don't have time to do it!

As a bonus, I will also include for your own marketing - pictures like this us a FULLY COMPLETED job! We completed this job 2 days ago and it still looks GREAT!


2011-08-22_16-38-25_314.jpg
 
Will be by to take photos and inspect later today.

Tony Shelton said:
Apartment Washing 101 is going to be offered at the next event!

Price to be determined, but I think it's going to be under $899 (Tom Durbin, lookout, I'm on your coat tails!)


Well, it's finally happened. I've moved from newbie to Expert in the area of Apartment washing. This week Chris had to do a complex and to keep costs down he asked me to help (due to a severe underbid by the company he subbed for (yes I know this is a mistake, but it will be covered in my new CERTIFICATION class).

The good news is that after the apartments are complete I will have all the credentials needed to certify you guys in APARTMENT CLEANING!

Some topics covered in this class are:

1) Why it's important to know if you have a water source before you get to the job
2) Sorry Ma'am, I didn't realize your window was open.
3) Lock your truck doors.

AND MUCH MORE!

Where else could you get this valuable information??????? Save yourself the learning curve and LEARN FROM AN EXPERT!

BUT THERE's MORE!!

You will get a certification plaque that you can hang in your office and point to when your family members come by and let them know that YOU TOO are an EXPERT! You can become a certified expert in one short hour rather than learning from experience in eight hours as I have.

SAVE YOURSELF THE PAIN AND SUFFERING!

Remember this word - SLUMWASH

I haven't figured out what it will stand for yet, but here's a little teaser -

If you pre-sign up you can be first in line and receive a half price (reduced to $599) membership to my new non-prophet org. Yes, I said non-prophet. There will be no old Testament prophets in our org. Nor will there be any from that other book (Scott.....wink)

Why non-prophet?

Because it SOUNDS REALLY GOOD to say. AND a "non-profit" is just too darn hard to set up and difficult to get lunch money, booze and plane tickets out of without other guys throwing a fit!

It's a win-win situation for everyone involved!

In this org we will work together to secretly go to each and every town and one our our members will slip and fall at a government housing facility. Our slip and fall committee chairman will be around the corner with one of YOUR business cards and will convince them to make numerous laws that FORCE them to give YOU money for cleaning whether it's necessary or not!

This will be a contractor for vendor for lawyer for government org!

Never before has an org been so ORGANIZED!

So don't delay, pre-sign up NOW! I need the money. If I get 300 guys signed up we can have this thing up and rolling by 2015! This will help me get out of this lousy business and sit behind a desk and sell internet SEO stuff to guys who actually have work to do and don't have time to do it!

As a bonus, I will also include for your own marketing - pictures like this us a FULLY COMPLETED job! We completed this job 2 days ago and it still looks GREAT!


2011-08-22_16-38-25_314.jpg
Click to expand...
 
If anyone wishes to take pictures with Tony please remember to bring cash. There will be no refunds for blurred pictures or pictures containing red eye. Pictures will be limited to 15 per customer to ensure that the line moves quickly.
 
And this weekend only I'm offering amnesty for anyone who made me mad years ago. I promise not to lure you to my hotel room for a beating if you sign up THIS weekend only!

This just in: Photoshop classes now available! Turn your 3 minivans, trucks or rigs into a glorious ad for your webpage showing 25+ service vehicles! $599 this week only! (Additional vehicles $10.00 each)
 
This is obviously bogus.
First, you say you were there, then you say you were on vacation. Because of this major lack of discretion, I demand a discount, for each and every member of this BBS. Somewhere in the neighborhood of $10 would be appropriate.
Second, this should be posted in the vendor forum. ;)
 
Just a warning to posters. PLEASE let's try to keep all posts in this thread positive. All non positive posts will be deleted and or we will have no other choice but to remove this thread out of the public eye to protect the original poster to ensure that his good name and integrity are protected.
 
Scott Stone said:
This is obviously bogus.
First, you say you were there, then you say you were on vacation. Because of this major lack of discretion, I demand a discount, for each and every member of this BBS. Somewhere in the neighborhood of $10 would be appropriate.
Second, this should be posted in the vendor forum. ;)
Click to expand...

Please refrain from these personal attacks Scott or I will be forced to report this thread to ..... to you.... in the moderators section for appropriate action!
 
Best.
Thread.
EVER.
 
Work is almost complete on our new SLM's (sample laws for municipalities). I'll be open for suggested changes to them for the next 3 minutes.

These SLM's are for your use only anday be modified as needed for your area. Similar to OSHA and other laws in your area. Just use them as a guide.

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk
 
I was just informed via spam email that there will be a guest speaker out of California speaking on EPA regs and proper cleaning procedures. This event will take place via Skype and will last 36 hrs. Please clear your calenders and make yourselves available for this event. This is a rare opportunity as this guest speaker normally keeps a low profile and rarely shares information about himself and his equipment. Stay glued to your monitors for times on this event.
 
Tony Shelton said:
Change of plans. Ron just informed me that if I don't offer my certification for $89 I'll be finished in this business and can no longer live in the state next to him.

Prices are now $89. :(
Click to expand...

Say I invest $100,000.00 in a reclaim unit and have EPA officials on my speed dial. Can I discount on that $89.95 since I would be considered a leader in the industry?
 
What about BMP's?

You have to vote people into a committee to vote for a group of incompetent people to think up some BMP's to shop to cities, gov't's and other kinds of municipalities. Even though they will be shopped to everyone that will listen whether they like it or not (you might have to tie them down or duct tape them to make sure that they are an attentive audience) you will have to tell everyone that the BMP's will not be shopped, even if they are there with you in person as you are shopping the BMP's in person (they can probably help you tie or tape up the people that don't want to listen) you will just have to learn to lie like crazy, you will get good at it in time as we have learned from those in office in org's, the politicians and other people on tv and internet.

The BMP's will have to be:
1. Ridiculous and have to buy reclaim equipment that is not only obsolete, things that only you or your favorite vendor makes or can make, use hard to find parts so that they have to come to you to get it fixed weekly or monthly or sooner.
2. The methods will have to make a minimum of 10-15 hoops to jump through in order to almost do things right. The city will change things around and you and the city will point fingers at each other and blame each other when contractors get fines, try not to laugh at the contractors when they confront you and want their money back, you just have to tell them that the guarantee is an on site guarantee meaning that if the work is done on your property then it is guaranteed, when it leaves your shop then the guarantee is put into the bmp's where it will be convoluted with all kinds of jargon and 5-dollar words where most will agree that it is not only hard to read, hard to understand but does not make any sense at all. At that point you have made a good guarantee.
3. The BMP's have to make you work 2 times harder than normal to do the most simple job.
4. The BMP's need to take up at least 1 ream of paper, if not start over and keep on wording it until you are successful.
5. The BMP's need to use lots of big words that people will not find easily in their dictionary if they have one, if possible make some of the words/sentences in another language so that you are helping others that might not speak english.

There will be more added to this as this is an evolving BMP, meaning that we are trying to make it up as fast as we can but we can only do so much at a time without making it too easy for the contractor to make money.
 
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