Russ Spence
Commercial Pressure Wash Expert
> *The IRS decides to audit Ralph and summons him to the IRS office.
> The IRS auditor is not surprised Ralph shows up with his attorney.
**
> *
> *The** **auditor says, "Well sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle
> and no *
> *
> full time employment, which you explain by saying that you win
money
> gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."*
>
> *"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it" says Ralph. "How about
a
> demonstration?"*
>
> *The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, go ahead."**
>
> Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
eye."
>
> The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
>
> Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
> Ralph says, *
>
> *"Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other
eye."
>
> The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Ralph
> removes his dentures*
>
> * and bites his good eye.
>
> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three
grand,
> with
> Ralph's** *
>
> *attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
>
> 'Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six
> thousand dollars that I *
>
> *can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket
on
> the other side, and *
>
> *never get a drop anywhere in between.
>
> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully
and
> decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees
again.
>
>
> Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
> strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the waste basket
on
> the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
>
> The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a
major
> loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head
in
his hands.
>
> "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
>
>
> "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me
> he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars
> that he could come in here and pee all over an IRS official's desk
and
> that you'd be happy about it." *
> The IRS auditor is not surprised Ralph shows up with his attorney.
**
> *
> *The** **auditor says, "Well sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle
> and no *
> *
> full time employment, which you explain by saying that you win
money
> gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."*
>
> *"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it" says Ralph. "How about
a
> demonstration?"*
>
> *The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, go ahead."**
>
> Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
eye."
>
> The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
>
> Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
> Ralph says, *
>
> *"Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other
eye."
>
> The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Ralph
> removes his dentures*
>
> * and bites his good eye.
>
> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three
grand,
> with
> Ralph's** *
>
> *attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
>
> 'Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six
> thousand dollars that I *
>
> *can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket
on
> the other side, and *
>
> *never get a drop anywhere in between.
>
> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully
and
> decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees
again.
>
>
> Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
> strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the waste basket
on
> the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
>
> The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a
major
> loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head
in
his hands.
>
> "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
>
>
> "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me
> he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars
> that he could come in here and pee all over an IRS official's desk
and
> that you'd be happy about it." *