Funny Stuff !!
- Thread starter The Cleaner
- Start date
The Cleaner
Vetran Washer 30 Years Plus
>
> Subject: five rules
>
> Five rules for men to follow for a happy life.
>
> 1.. It's important to have a women who helps at home,
> cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
>
> 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
>
> 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and
> who doesn't lie to you.
>
> 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and
> who likes to be with you.
>
> 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not
> know each other.
>
>
> Sincerely
>
> Tiger Woods
> Subject: five rules
>
> Five rules for men to follow for a happy life.
>
> 1.. It's important to have a women who helps at home,
> cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
>
> 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
>
> 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and
> who doesn't lie to you.
>
> 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and
> who likes to be with you.
>
> 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not
> know each other.
>
>
> Sincerely
>
> Tiger Woods
Tony Shelton
BS Detector, Esquire
Those are good ones Nick!
Sirocco Jerry
Active member
"Exposure Problems", and "the penguin" joke.
Exposure Problem-
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings..
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says,
'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' .. :yikes:
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk
with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
to prevent avoidable exposure.
the Penguin-
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona, when he notices
that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees
oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and
stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town.
He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona,
he decides that something cold would really hit the spot.
He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat.
Having no hands, he makes a mess down his front, trying to eat it.
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station
and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.
The mechanic looks up and says, 'It looks like you blew a seal.'
'No, no,' the penguin replies, ..'it's just ice cream.'
<O
</O
Exposure Problem-
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings..
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says,
'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' .. :yikes:
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk
with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
to prevent avoidable exposure.
the Penguin-
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona, when he notices
that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees
oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and
stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town.
He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona,
he decides that something cold would really hit the spot.
He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat.
Having no hands, he makes a mess down his front, trying to eat it.
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station
and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.
The mechanic looks up and says, 'It looks like you blew a seal.'
'No, no,' the penguin replies, ..'it's just ice cream.'
<O
</O
Tony Shelton
BS Detector, Esquire
:jester::jester::jester: